photos

i went to intellicolor yesterday and picked up my prints from my last two 120 rolls. i took this one last march. the rest are hanging out on flickr.

my life

i'll learn someday...

Dennys opened his eyes as the wind dropped, was silent. He raised his face to the stars, and their light fell against his cheeks like dew. They chimed at him softly. Do not seek to comprehend. All shall be well. Wait. Patience. Wait. You do not always have to do something. Wait.

Madeleine L'Engle - Many Waters

superpowers

3-D mail

not many people utilize the united states postal service anymore. but who doesn't love getting something fun in the mail?
my friend alissa and i try to send each other as much for-reals mail as we can. and i always get excited when something comes from her.
i received an extra-fun package from her on wednesday.
it contained...


two of my favorite candy bars in the whole world, purchased in canada. a poster from one of my favorite bands, of montreal. a sticker from this year's portland zine symposium. a polaroid from a coconut records album. a drawing alissa did of my cat newton. the latest clutch/invincible summer split zine. (i'm super-excited about this) one of alissa's gocco prints of a pregnant octopus riding a bicyle. the outside of the package has her grandmother's persimmon cookie recipe. (can't wait to try that one out.) and a circa 2000 photo of me with orange hair in front of the chicago museum of contemporary art.

equal parts random, delightful and delicious.
it pretty much made my day.

pastry tour

i spent some time this evening putting together some of the cities that will potentially be on my european pastry tour. as you can tell by the map, there are a few too many.
the next step is to research the regional cuisine of each of these cities and bring it down to a manageable number.

any thoughts or recommendations?

(yes, i am super type-A and color-coordinated the markers by country. red for germany, purple for austria, yellow for switzerland, blue for belgium and the netherlands, and green for france. i admit it. i'm a nerd.)


View Larger Map

(edit: i've whittled it down to the 22 cities pictured above, but at the rate of 1 city a day, not counting travel days, this would take 3 weeks. hmmmm. i may have to just limit this to france...)

reasons

i think i may have finally pinpointed why i despise summer so much.
yes, it is hot, but heat in itself isn't really enough to despise an entire season.

it is because the heat keeps me from the activities i enjoy most.

my garage art studio is like a sauna, therefore no art.
turning the oven on makes the kitchen waaaay too hot, therefore no baking.
working in the garden in 100 degree weather makes me feel like i'm going to die, therefore no gardening.
it just feels wrong to be knitting when it is hot outside, so very little knitting.

i am left with very little to satisfy my need to create. and summer drags on for months.
so by september i am extremely restless and anxious to really dig in and make something, even though i know the heat will last for at least another month.

in the meantime all i seem to have the energy for is watching movies and drinking beer.
on tonight's agenda...watching idiocracy and drinking a newcastle.
ahhhhhhhh

roommate

we have a new roommate...

who necessitates me keeping a baby gate on my bedroom door.
our kids don't play together very well.
everyone come by and say hi to newton. she'll be waiting for you.

pharmaceuticals

i usually get looks of pity when i tell people that i get my medical coverage from Kaiser. i can completely understand where these looks come from, but i've been going there my entire life, thus i know nothing different. sure, they sometimes leave you feeling like banging your head against the wall would be more productive, but you learn how to work their quirky system.

one of the benefits of being covered by Kaiser (under my current employer's coverage, at least) is that all immunizations are free and the copay on prescriptions is about $15 for a 3 month supply of whatever cures your ills.

this morning i went over to the medical offices to get the last in the series of Hepatitis A and B shots which i started before my Mexico adventure. in and out in 10 minutes, and not a penny spent. while i was there i decided to look at the pharmacy and see if i could get my new favorite drug at a better price than at the local Walgreens. i usually drop almost $30 a month to keep my allergies at bay. i figured, hey, i can get prescription drugs cheap here, maybe i can get an OTC medication for cheap too. turns out i was wrong.

this is how i discovered a pharmaceutical conspiracy. you think i would have learned this while working at a pharmaceutical company...

it had been at the back of my mind that zyrtec had gone from prescription to OTC much quicker than normal. now i know why. insurance providers (like mine) can lose a lot of money by giving out a 3 month supply of pills for a flat $15 copay. so they petition the pharmaceutical companies and FDA to move them to OTC quickly so they can up the price, since most insurance companies don't cover OTC products. so a product that would have cost me $5 a month now costs 6 times as much only because i now no longer have to go through my doctor to get it. is the convenience really worth it? i'm thinking no.

so i think i'm kind of screwed until zyrtec-d goes off patent....in 2016.

polaroid

business

anybody who has spent any length of time around me, or who has read this blog at all will know that i love to bake. cooking is alright, but if it involves flour and eggs and butter, i am in love.
what i love even more is to see my friends and family enjoy what i have created.

my friends have recently been harassing me about opening up a shop to start selling my tasty treats. i have a few rebuttals for them.
1. bakeries start working at about 3 am to make the day's edibles. that's about when i like to go to bed.
2. owning your own business is a 24/7 endeavor. i like to travel.
3. i would have no idea where to start, and riverside is notorious for demolishing small, creative, independent businesses.
4. the idea of owning my own business frankly scares the crap out of me.

that being said, i must admit that i've been toying with the idea for the past few days.
i've been thinking of where i would look for retail space, what the design would be like, what to call my little shop, what equipment i would need, how to advertise, and menu items.
jon can take care of the graphic design, and marissa will design me a sweet interior.

this isn't something i'm going to go out and try to do any time soon, but it is definitely somthing to think about when its time to come up with my next 2 year plan.
i think i'll spend the time until then experimenting with recipes.
i'm also thinking that doing research at european pastry shops would probably be a good idea, too.

(oh, steve and mike. you can keep trying, but i won't ever answer to cookie. you'll need to come up with something better than that.)

uh...maybe

me: so Cody Hudson seems like he would be fun to hang out with.

alissa: i think when you said 'hang out with', you really meant 'make out with'.

exactly

The Wart did not know what Merlyn was talking about, but he liked him to talk. He did not like the grown-ups who talked down to him like a baby, but the ones who just went on talking in their usual way, leaving him to leap along in their wake, jumping at meanings, guessing, clutching at known words, and chuckling at complicated jokes as they suddenly dawned. He had the glee of the porpoise then, pouring and leaping through strange seas.

The Sword in the Stone
T.H. White

PDX

some people think i'm crazy, but i love to fly. i love airplanes. i love being at airports.
maybe its because my parents took me on my first flight when i was a week old.
maybe its in my genes. my grandfather loved planes and when they lived in Seattle he used to take my mom and uncle to SEATAC every sunday afternoon to watch the planes.
my grandfather was a pilot.
he died when his plane crashed.
i was only 6.

anyways...

out of the innumerable airports i have been through in my lifetime, the portland international airport would have to be one of my favorites. it is fairly small, but doesn't feel small. it has a wonderfully friendly, unhurried feeling about it. even the TSA employees are friendly.

i would spend all day sitting watching planes at PDX if they would let me.

i guess this isn't really a road trip anymore

today i'm wrapping up my time here in portland.

yesterday alissa was done with work early, so we headed downtown to the fifty24PDX gallery to see the show by cody hudson. after a stop for boba tea, we headed out to sauvie island to pick blueberries and marionberries. and of course, it started to rain...again.

the rest of the evening was filled with a sewing party, a trip to fred meyer for ice cream and other assorted junk food, and watching a movie. i ate pretty much the entire pint of ice cream by myself. my body is not very happy with me right now.

tonight i say goodbye to portland and fly home to riverside.

it feels weird to be going home without micah.

portland adventures

yesterday began with a bang. or rather a series of booms as a substantial thunderstorm rolled through p-town. it was fantastical. i love weather.

so since alissa still has to work while i'm here, i was lazy all morning and occupied myself with the internet and reading while she was working in the other room. (as i am doing today.) when she was done we put on our hiking shoes and headed a few blocks south down to the river. she lives in north portland, which is very industrial down by the river. many docks and factories.
we walked down the hill to the railroad tracks and followed them around the bend, picking and eating wild blackberries as we went. (the university of portland is just up the hill at this point.) after a little bit of walking there is an abandoned factory that skate kids have turned into a skate park and it is filled with amazing graffiti. a little creepy, but very cool.
a bit farther on is a little beach where you can see the ships heading up towards the columbia river and where the railroad crosses the river. i felt like i was 12 years old off on an urban adventure.



but it eventually started getting dark and then the light portland spittle-rain began, so we started the walk back up the hill. we grabbed dinner at king burrito and then went back to alissa's house and watched a documentary on the flaming lips.
not a super-eventful day, but i had fun.

i have a bunch more photos from the trip so far on my flickr page.

my eyes are a little sweaty today

it's been raining in portland today, which is appropriate.
i've been having a hard time this morning. you see, i had to say goodbye to micah last night. it kind of sucked.

our road trip has been awesome, which is to be expected. after spending the night in ashland on friday night, we had breakfast at this little cafe, which i thoroughly enjoyed. then we hit the road and headed towards mcminneville to see the spruce goose. i love air museums, and i had seen the spruce goose as a kid, so of course i enjoyed myself. it would have been nice if i hadn't been sweating profusely, but what can you do about the weather?
we finally made it into portland and micah and i went up to alissa's house and hung out in the basement for a little while. (yes, the basement. it was about 10 degrees cooler in there.) then we headed out and got some food at monsoon thai and ate dinner with micah's folks at their hotel.
sunday morning we headed out for breakfast at cup & saucer. i was really excited about this, because the last time i was in portland i ate the best breakfast in my life at cup & saucer. it wasn't nearly as good this time. oh well. then we made a stop at the saturday market (yes, they're also open on sunday) to buy some organic soap from 'the soap guy'. then around the corner to stumptown to buy my coffee beans. then micah, alissa and i headed out to the coast for some cooler weather. we stopped for lunch in seaside, then headed out to oswald west state beach for some hiking. it was beautiful and amazing. then dinner in cannon beach and a drive back to p-town.

but then we dropped micah off at her hotel and it dawned on me that we were saying goodbye.
how is it really enough to give someone a hug and say goodbye in a parking lot when you're all dead-tired? i feel completely deflated.

i was so blessed when micah and i became friends. in the process of getting to know one another we realized that we would be perfect for one another - if either of us were into chicks. micah is the female version of my future spouse. for reals. i think that's why i'm having such a hard time with her moving away. i know i'll see her every couple months, and i'll talk on the phone and email her all the time, but the fact that she's now so far away kind of feels like i've broken up with yet another boyfriend. which sucks. i'm tired of feeling so much loss. the older i get, the harder it becomes and the more it hurts.

i know i sound like a real debbie-downer right now, but i felt like i just had to get it out.
so i'll leave you with one of my favorite flight of the conchords songs, which has been going through my head all morning. this one's for you, micah.



dying. that's right, dying.

roadtrip...again

this morning began my, uhm, i think 9th road trip to oregon. i think i like to drive to oregon.

micah is moving to victoria BC to attend a photo school, and i decided to go along for the ride and jump ship in portland and spend some time with alissa.

i am super-excited for micah to have this experience, but also sad that she will be so far away.

so i am trying to not think about how this trip is going to end and am concentrating on enjoying the journey.

we set out early this morning and made sure we stopped in redding to visit the lances and met new baby moses. we've also been taking a lot of video with the intent of making a collaborative road trip 'movie'. i'm excited to put it all together and show off our creation. it will be epic. or at least awesome.

stay tuned for more road trip updates.

a quick and dirty cliffs notes history/current events lesson, or what the hell is going on in russia?

some of you may have heard of a little skirmish going on currently between russia and georgia in a place called north ossetia. for the news-junkies out there, this is probably going to be nothing new. for those of you who are just learning that there is a place called georgia that is not in the american southeast, this may be educational.

a little background...
there is a little spit of land between the black sea and the caspian sea which is somewhere around 300 miles wide and contains a mountain range called the caucasus. (yes, this is where we get the term caucasian.) as far as researchers can tell, this region has been continuously inhabited since the stone age. this region is also quite rugged and at times impassable, so of course a number of distinct people-groups emerged over the centuries. as far as i can tell, this relatively small piece of real estate contains somewhere between 30 and a zillion distinct ethnolinguistic groups, as pictured in the map below. (ethnolinguistic = people who share a distinct culture and language.)

i traveled to this area (Kabardino-Balkaria to be specific) in the summer of 2002 and saw firsthand how each of these groups sees themselves as distinctly different from the others. and there is not a lot of love lost between them. each group has their own history, culture, traditions and language. and then you throw in a few different religions....and i think you all know what happens.

now for some history...
we all learned about the russian empire in school, and how czar after czar slowly conquered most of the eurasian continent, absorbing numerous countries and people groups. and like the roman empire before them, they kept order between these groups mostly by force. then the russian empire fell and was taken over by the USSR, which continued the expansion of borders and kept order with even more of an iron fist.
fast-forward to the early 1990's and the dissolution of the soviet union.
in the aftermath of the end of the USSR, there were a number of countries who were able to regain their sovereignty. (think latvia, estonia, lithuania, etc.) but what about the innumerable ethnolinguistic groups which were absorbed by the russian empire before the invention of the nation-state, so had never had the opportunity for sovereign rule the way we know it today? well, some of them were allowed to create their own countries. (think uzbekistan, khazakstan, azerbaijan, georgia, etc.) but wait, according to that map up there, there are still a lot of ethnolinguistic groups who never got their own country and are living in the country created for another ethnolinguistic group.

there's your problem.

the russian government had to put their foot down somewhere, because the area inhabited by ethnic russians is not very large, and if they let every people group form their own country, there really wouldn't be much of a russia left.
but that doesn't keep them from trying...
the ossetian people group claim an area which is partly in russia (north ossetia) and partly in georgia (south ossetia). and the ossetians don't much like georgians. the people of south ossetia - backed by the russian gonvernment - consider themselves to be an independent republic. yet the international community consider it to be a part of georgia.
so last week when the georgian army went into south ossetia to show them who was in charge, the russian government stepped in and backed the ossetians. now why the russian army is storming toward the georgian capital of tbilisi is another story...

i could say a lot more about this, but most of you probably stopped reading a long time ago.

but for those of you who got this far, i hope that it was at least somewhat educational.

now back to the michael phelps juggernaut and lip-syncing 9-year-olds...

nature

this afternoon i was looking through the california state parks website, trying to decide where i would like to reserve a campsite.
as i was looking at the details for the campground at silverwood lake, i noticed that they were very proud to say that they now offer wi-fi at their campground. upon further reading, somewhere around 49 state parks now offer this service.
i don't want to sound like a luddite here, but is this really necessary? what kind of vacation is it if you can whip out your laptop or other nifty portable gadget and check your email in the middle of the woods?
next thing you know, they will be offering flatscreen televisions in every site. or maybe even various product placements on the trees and wildlife.

i'll get off my soapbox now.

stuff

today my friend alissa sent me an email telling me i needed to check out http://storyofstuff.com/.
i just finished watching the video and now i'm telling you all to watch it. it is 20 minutes long, but the time goes fast and it has a lot of things that Americans need to hear.
the first half didn't really tell me anything i don't already know, but parts of the second half left my jaw on the floor.
i've always been interested in the sociology of consumption, so i found this to be enormously educational.
and the website has lots of great resources.

set some time aside and check it out.

plastic

i came across this article on the BBC news website. this journalist is on a one-month attempt to introduce no new plastic into her life. the current collection of storage containers and various other plastic products are ok, but any new purchases need to be free of plastic.
seems pretty straightforward, right?
far from it.
three days in, and there have been several stumbles.
that disposable paper coffee cup? wait, not just paper, but has a plastic insulating coating.
going shopping for fruit and veg? wait, everything is wrapped in plastic and it is impossible to buy berries packaged in anything but a plastic container.
i'm excited to follow the blog and see how this experiment plays out.

employment

it has been nearly a month in the making, but tomorrow i finally start my new job!

no, i'm not leaving my current job.
for the past two years i have only been working 30 hours a week, and i've made it work. but now with paying rent and such, it just wasn't enough any more.
my new job is another 10 hours a week. in a different position that is in the department i already work in.
convenient, eh?
i now get to spend 10 hours a week learning how to prepare and submit proposals and applications for federal grants.
it sounds rather dull, but i'm actually really excited to learn about this. i think it has a lot of potential to be useful to me in other areas in the future. can anyone say NEA?

well anyways, no more getting off work at 2 in the afternoon for me...

pain

there is nothing quite like back pain to make you instantly feel geriatric.

friday morning i rolled over to turn off the alarm, and everything fell into just the wrong place. you know that sharp pain that literally takes your breath away? yeah. like that. i spent most of this weekend flat on my back. yay. oh, and a surefire cure for insomnia would have to be muscle relaxers. i think i spent all of friday in a coma.

this happens to me every so often. as a result of the untreated 'marching band drum incident of 1992'.

i made it to work this morning, but still have a case of what i call 'batman neck'. (i have to turn my whole body to look around.)

i should start seeing a chiropractor.

beach

i spent the day yesterday at corona del mar.
i love the beach.
i'm not a big fan of sand.
especially when there is a 2-year-old who likes nothing better than to kick it all over you at every possible opportunity.
oh, and then dump shovel-fulls of it into your bag. which contains your cameras, ipod and phone....
he's lucky he's cute.

coldplay

last night micah took me out for my birthday present. not to brag or anything, but we went to see the coldplay show. oh, ok. i am bragging.
there really are no bad seats in the forum. and chris martin and his band of merry musicians put on quite a show. i was already of the opinion that it was a great show, and then near the end the four of them put down their instruments and (surrounded by a garrison of security guys) started running through the auditorium, up the stairs, and...

to a little media-booth stage area about 10 feet away from our seats.
wow.
us little people in the nosebleed section were treated to two songs up-close and personal. it was amazing.

i would have to rate last night as one of my top 3 concert experiences.
thank you micah!

restful?

ever have those eventful weekends, that when they end you feel more tired than when you started?
this was a long, fun, and tiring weekend.

started friday after work when i took micah out to the pantages for her birthday present. that's right, we saw wicked. and it lived up to all the hype. i would love to go see it again.

saturday morning jon, kathy and i gathered up heather and jonathan and his kids and trekked down to the santa ana river for some communing with nature. hot, sweaty nature.

saturday evening we convened at the riverside art museum for the sea no evil art show that was put on by jon's work.

and this morning micah and i drove up to big bear to attend the community church and then spent the rest of the day with aaron and emily foor and their kids. i haven't seen them in almost 2 years, and it was so wonderful to see them. and as we were driving down the hill we realized that neither of us had remembered to take any photos. genius.

it was a great weekend.
i need a nap.

small

i just finished watching you've got mail for the zillionth time while working on knitting micah's blanket. (slowly but surely, micah.)
ok, the movie.
i'm a sucker for a well-crafted chick flick, and you've got mail certainly fits the bill. i cry at the end every time.

and yet i digress...again.

there is a point where kathleen kelly is writing an email to joe fox where she says that she lives a small life. and she doesn't know if her life is small because she enjoys it or because she hasn't been brave enough.
i have heard this dialogue more times than i can count, but tonight was the first time that i felt like i really heard it. this is something i've really been struggling with recently.
i feel like i live a very small life.
i feel like i should have accomplished much more by this point in my life, and that i am more than capable of it, but that i just haven't been brave enough.
i feel like i really have nothing to show for how i have spent the past 32 years.

there really is no profound conclusion to this post. i just wanted to share what has been weighing on my mind recently.
shalom.

adventures

interesting fact about me...i love to spend time with people and i love to go exploring, but i am also retarded and almost never call people up to go do things. and my disdain for the telephone has seemed to keep the exploration at a minimum.
so i am excited to be living with friends who are always out finding new things to do and places to go and aren't phone-retarded like myself.

this afternoon i went with jon and kathy to the santa ana river and we went exploring. i had a lot of fun trekking through the brush and wading through the river. it was a lot more fun when i didn't think about all the bacteria that live in there. ick.
even though, it was good times.
and i look forward to many more adventures.

a moving experience

i thought this day would never come, but i did it.

i moved.

and not in a rhythmic kind of way.

in an 'i'm 32 and finally moved out of my parents' house' kind of way.
the planets have aligned and i am making enough money, along with good friends deciding that they needed another roommate.
i'm just glad that the actual moving part is mostly over, because the process makes me slightly anxious and very restless.

it feels like i have closed a chapter of my life and am starting a new and much more promising one. i'm excited to see what happens next.