r.e.s.p.e.c.t.

i am 32 years old.
i have never felt the need to be embarrassed about my age or refuse to tell someone my age.
i have never wished to be older or younger than i am.

i am what i am.

i love the fact that with age comes wisdom.
i make much better decisions now than i did when i was 22. and i will make even better decisions when i am 42.
but i don't look my age. most people guess 26.
now, most 32 year old women would LOVE to be mistaken for being 6 years younger than they are.

i HATE it.

i've recently been thinking a lot about why i hate it so much when people tell me i look so young or that i am so young.
i've come to the conclusion that it is because i have been through a lot in the past 32 years. and i mean a LOT. most people have no idea the amount of shit that i've been through. i have gathered much experience and wisdom and am proud of the person i have become. and i don't want to be mistaken for being some young, green girl who is still figuring out who they are.

i know who i am.

i am also coming to the conclusion that our society is structured in a way that women who are unmarried without children are subliminally seen as somehow inexperienced or incapable.

i am neither.
and there seems to be nothing i can do about that.

but i see things brewing on the horizon which will take my professional life to a place where people may finally take me seriously and respect me.
i'm looking forward to that.