baby steps

i have spent the majority of my day in the midst of what i am dubbing a 'minor freakout'. you could also call it a panic attack, but 'minor freakout' doesn't seem to have so many extra clinical connotations. (you know the scene in the beginning of the movie 'the holiday' where cameron diaz's character is in the middle of a freakout? kinda like that. but in my head.)

i was informed this morning that upon arriving at the airport in mexico city tomorrow morning, there will not be anybody meeting me. i have been given instructions on how to get from the airport to the bus terminal and then on to the hotel in Actopan (2 hours north of mexico city) where i will be meeting those volunteers who have been working there all this week.

i have done a great deal of international travel, but never alone. or at least intentionally alone.
i have been assured by several people both here and in mexico that this adventure is not beyond my abilities. but it doesn't seem to be helping much.
i hate to admit it, but i'm a bit of a control freak. i never travel without first spending hours researching modes of transport and other various facts. i am soothed by information. so i think that the fact that this was dumped on me less than a day before departure is the main source of anxiety.

so i think that the way to get through this is to ignore the mountain in front of me and take things one at a time. like in 'what about bob'. baby steps...